Good One Liners

1.  Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

2.  Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.  

3.  Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

4.  I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

5.  Never answer an anonymous letter.

6.  I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

7.  Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.

8.  If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?

9.  Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

10.  We have enough youth.  How about a fountain of "Smart"?

11.  Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.  

12.  Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.

13.  Consciousness:  That annoying time between naps.

14.  There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.

15.  I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

16.  As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

17.  The severity if the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

18.  You can't have everything.  Where would you put it?

19.  I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

20.  We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse.

21.  42.7 percent of statistics are made up on the spot.  

22.  Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home.

23.  Eat right.  Stay fit.  Die anyway.

24.  Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.  

25.  Don't steal, the government hates competition.

26.  National Atheist Day:  April 1st.

27.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism

28.  This statement is false.

29.  It's bad luck to be superstitious.

30.  The word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary.

31.  The Big Bang Theory:  God spoke, and BANG! it happened.

32.  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

33.  Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

34.  A day without sunshine is like night.

35.  The  early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

36.  Gravity:  It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!!

37.  The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

38.  If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

39.  If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

40.  Evolution:  true science fiction.

Got these from a pamphlet at the fair.  There were 101 but I just put 40 that I liked.  Enjoy!!  I like the National Atheist day one.  The only thing is, though, that Ayden was born on April 1st.  I would hate to have his birthday be on National Atheist Day.  Otherwise, it would be great on April 1st.

Breaking Boards!

Tonight was Martial Arts, and the girls got to break boards.  They did a great job.  Watch out.  Don't mess with these tough girls.  

Our good friend Ali was also there.  She did a great job breaking boards.  She is only 6 and this is her 3rd class.  

Great job everyone!!!

Let the Battle Begin!

Before you read, a little side note, I am not writing very well today because it has been a long day (but a good day), and I am tired.  

Today, the battle started, and I am going to win!  It seems that I have been overwhelmed with all the things I have to get done, and I have been slacking with discipline.  Well, today I realized that enough is enough.  This morning I laid out all the kids clothes for church, and then I told them to get dressed.  Actually, Andreya got dressed before I asked her too, mainly because she wanted to wear a certain outfit.  Christyne got dressed when I asked her to.  But Ayden just decided to do other things.  I asked him several times while I was trying to get other things ready, and I was not going to be late for church.  I was sick of it, so instead of yelling or getting angry I just told the kids that it was time to go.  So we grabbed our stuff and headed out.  Ayden suddenly wanted to get dressed.  I told him that it was too late, and he had to go in his PJs.  He did not like that at all.  He started to freak out.  He said he wasn't going to church, etc.  So I put my stuff in the car and then I came in and picked him up and carried him out to the car.  He was very upset.  

Because he was so embarrassed to be seen in his PJs, we missed sacrament.  I had to practically drag him into church.  The girls made it, but we didn't.  When we finally made it into church, he was so embarrassed that he just wanted to hide under the bench.  Finally we convinced him to sit on the pew.  What a great punishment.  No yelling, no spanking, complete humiliation with out being embarrassed about anything too horrible.  This is the first step to get my kids back on track.  

Well, maybe it is the second.  Yesterday, my good friend Amber invited us over to play Wii.  She got it for her birthday, and we were all going to play it.  I gave my kids hours to clean their rooms.  Ayden's room was clean, but the girls just would not do it.  I even went in there for about 10 minutes and threw out a bunch of old toys, and put stuff in piles to make it easier.  I did half the work in 10 minutes.  No, no interest in getting it done.  So when it was time to go to the "Wii party", Ayden and I just left. Ossil was as home, so it worked out nicely.  Oh, when they heard me tell Ayden to get his shoes on and it was time to go, they suddenly realized I was serious.  And started cleaning their room really fast.  They didn't get it done in time, so they could not go.  After about an hour at Amber's house, Ossil called me and said that their room was clean and they wanted to come.  I let them come.  I think that was a mistake.  Next time, once I leave, it is too late.  

We will see how it goes.  I am not giving in.  I can't get lazy with it any more.  

A Martial Arts Class - Finally

For a few years now, I have been trying to get a good martial arts class for my kids.  Shelly found a really good one that worked well for her family.  It was a little too far for us, and so we kept looking around here.  At first we went to the rec center, and that one was good, but too long and too many days for such small kids, and it was about $60 a person, and since we paid so much, we felt that we had to go each time,  (3 days a week for 1hr and 45 minutes).  The kids got burned out fast.  Also it ended at 8:45, way to late for little kids.  It was much better for adults.  I might be interested some day.  

Any way, we gave up on it for a while, then I tried out one at a Boys and Girls club.  That one was in the middle of summer.  The price was right, but the building had no air conditioner, and only had these fans in the ceiling that were so noisy, the kids couldn't even hear the teacher.  Also, even though it was about 110° in that building, the uniforms were black.  The instructors seemed good, but the heat and noise was horrible.  Also, the inside of the building was painted with flat paint.  Every hand print of every boy and girl who had ever walked in was visible.  It was just gross.  When I when to pay before it started, I asked the lady taking the money if the air conditioner was just broken that day.  She said that there was no air conditioning.  Then she asked me if I wanted to pay for the whole 10 week session or just one day.  I replied, "just one day".   Why pay for a whole session when you aren't coming back.  

 Then I found out the YMCA had one for members that was $35 a month and it was 1 hr a week.  That was not too bad.  So we went.  I liked it, but we had to pay a membership fee, so it was not as cheap as it seemed.  However, I figured we would be there all year, so it actually wasn't that bad.

We were there for a few months when I got the new rec center mailer saying they had a martial arts class in a small town right across the freeway from our house.  And it was only $30 a month with no membership fee.  I wanted to check it out, but I felt like we were already committed to the YMCA.  Anyway, a friend of mine wanted to do martial arts for her daughter as well, and we were going to do the YMCA one together at the beginning of January.  So I went, and there was no class.  Actually, I saw people leaving and didn't want to drag 3 kids in to find out why.  I called a few days later and found out the teacher isn't teaching any more.  I don't know if he moved or got a better job or what.  Anyway, that was the perfect chance to try out the rec center one.

Tuesday was the first class.  It is so perfect for us.  It is 10 minutes or less from out house, the head teacher is a woman.  She is tough.  Kids who misbehave get to do lots of pushups.  She is also very kind and helps the new kids figure out what to do.  I like that the main instructor is a woman.  In the last class, Andreya complained because there wasn't very many girls, just one other.  In this class, there are a lot of girls. 

The class is new - just started in January, but there are already a ton of people.  It is also an hour, but, they have a class wednesday and friday as well in the other rec center.  We can go for free if we want.  The price is also only $30 a month.  Also, in a few months, Ayden can join when he turns 5.  

Another thing I like is that the place where the tuesday night class is has a brand new playground.  It is so nice.  They also have a brand new little library, and nice fields for baseball, with a walking path around it.  And behind the rec center is an outdoor exercize machine area.  The kids discovered this and were in hog heaven.  Forget about the play ground.  They wanted to try out all the fun exercise equipment.   In fact, that night when we got home, they begged me to take them in the morning before school. So the next day they were dressed and ready 1/2 hour earlier than the time we had to leave.  We went over there before school and had a lot of fun.  That was a miracle.  My kids are rarely ready for school when they need to be.   

Anyway, I am so happy to have found just the right martial arts class. Close, cheap, freedom to take it 1, 2 or 3 nights a week, good instructor, good location, and Ayden can start soon as well too.  I am very excited about it.   

Dinner at Diane's

There really is no joy greater in life than a truly great meal.  They don't come around very often, even when you go out to dinner.  Our dear dear family friend had us over for fast Sunday dinner.  Her meals are better than the finest restaurants where we live.  When she invites you over,  you should avoid all food the entire day and make sure you are really hungry.  If you have eaten,  the food will be so good, that you will kick yourself because you will eat a lot.  It is that good.  

We had a fire pit and outdoor dinning with candle light.  My parents were there as well.  

My parents and my immediate family started having dinner together each fast sunday.  Then we started inviting Diane.  So she invited us over this fast Sunday.  Fast Sunday meals are always good, but this is a special treat.  

We had the best soup ever.  It was some sort of carrot creme soup.  It was soooooo good.  I could have just filled up on soup all night, and been in heaven.  We also had the most awesome rolls that were flaky and layered.  We had a salad that I brought, (it was ok).  Then we had a pallet cleanser, a citrus sorbet.  So good.  Then we had chicken, jello, green beans and rice.  It was all sooooo good.  At the end we had brownies with ice cream and dribbled with chocolate sauce.   Man, talk about good.  It was also fun to talk and enjoy the fire and be outside.  The kids stayed inside and had chicken nuggets and fries.  It was so nice to just enjoy the meal and not worry about the kids.  Ayden slept through most of it, but he woke up about an hour and a half before we left, so he still got some food and had fun.  

Another great thing about Diane (she has so many great qualities), besides being a great cook, she is not a food snob.  Sometimes I will have her over, and my cooking turns out poorly, or I will just cook a frozen Lasagna, and she is content with what ever I serve.  It is nice, I don't feel insecure with my cooking around her, even though it isn't very good.  She has the best of all areas with cooking.  She is an awesome cook, yet she is not picky.  

Diane is also like my children's second grandma or another aunt.  She is so kind and giving to my kids.  They love her so much.  They get to sit with her at church if they  are good.  Their big punishment if they are not reverent is to come sit with me and not sit with her.  That is a good motivation since they love sitting with her.  She is such a wonderful woman.  

We are so blessed to have her in our lives.  We love you Diane!  

The Garden? You mean we have a garden?

   For the past 6 months I have been totally neglecting my garden.   I have been completely busy this year with one thing or another.  I have also had a lot of excuses, like "it is too hot", or "when my house is clean", or "I just have too much to do", you know, the typical excuses.  The truth is, between my calling, my house work, helping my kids with all the things they need help with, etc., I just haven't gotten too it.  Well, now that the weather is so nice, I have been thinking that now is the time.  Also, when I drive by Home Depot or Lowes and see the vegi plants sitting out side the garden entrance, I get a little rush of excitement, and the gardening fever starts to hit.  It is strange, because it is hard work, but I like it.  But sometimes I just procrastinate, because I know I have so much to do, and I have other more pressing things to do, but I want to do it, but I don't.  Yes, I know a long run on sentence.  

    Anyway, Saturday morning, my kids rooms were picked up, not vacuumed, but in order.  I realized that I had some time, so I spent most of the day working on it.  It was such a mess, that I was almost scared.  What would I face after more than 6 months with out hardly ever venturing out to it.  I left the irrigation working, so it was getting water, but that is it.  

I found some interesting surprises.  First of all, I have a bunch of tomato plants.  Most of them were just growing in the sand, and not in the garden boxes.  The tomato plant in the garden box was huge and had about 8 ripe tomatoes on it.  (We had some for lunch and dinner.)   There are many tomatoes that will be ready soon.  I also found 3 lettuce plants.  One was huge, and was ready to have leaves harvested.  I have a bunch of strawberry plants.  Also, I have an artichoke plant that is huge, it takes up the whole 4 x 4 ft box, and is 3 ft tall.  

I was going to take out the artichoke plant since I have planted artichokes in the front yard as part of the landscaping (edible landscaping) since it can grow for years.  I am going to keep it, and hope that I get a lot of artichokes.  Because I need more garden space, I am going to make a long two foot wide garden box along the north wall of the yard.  That is a better spot for the plants anyway (lots of sun, no wind).  I still have 4 other 4x4 boxes in the side yard, and one 4x4 box in the east side of the yard that was going to be for the kids.  to grow things.  It got blasted by the wind.  So it didn't work out.  I will probably move it.   Wind is one of my biggest problems.  Because of where my house is, certain times of the year, wind is brutal, and it rips the plants apart.  

Anyway, There were a few other surprises in the garden.  There were so many weeds.  They were everywhere.  They were really tall, really hard to remove, and sticky.  They were covered with this sticky clear stuff, and it got on anything touching it.  I think some of these weeds emit  it.  It was good I had a plastic bag as a barrier.   I still have a lot of work to do.  Put up new nets, get the grids made, finish weeding the areas around the garden, organize all my stuff, finish fixing the irrigation, etc.  

I also have 4 fruit trees still in the original pot to plant, I need to plant them right away, cut some of the roots off, and hope they survive the planting.   I also need to build and fill the new garden boxes I will need, and install the irrigation for them.  

The weather is nice, so I hope to spend many days outdoors working on these things.  

I hope it doesn't get that bad again.  Even if I am busy, if I just go out there once a week, remove a few weeds, and see what is going on.  Even if I don't have time to grow anything new.  I think before when I was neglecting it, I felt bad that I had neglected it, and didn't want to even think about it.  So of course, it would get worse.  That can't happen anymore!  

Birthday gift for the Prophet

In the last conference issue of the Ensign, there was a little article in the back about Pres. Monson's birthday.  Someone asked him what he wanted for his birthday.  He said that he wanted children to do acts of service for other people.  So the Friend magazine has asked children to write about and take pictures of acts of service they have done for the Prophets birthday.  They will put some of the experiences into the August 2009 Friend for the Prophet.  

Our family decided to go to the church building and do some weeding.  It was really fun.  We spent a few hours, and  worked as fast as we could.  We did this during Christmas vacation, so the weather was really nice.  One thing that was really amazing was that 90% of the weeds were baby palm trees.  The TV station next door has some, and we think they had seeds that blew over and under the trees at church.  It was moist, shady, and perfect for baby palm trees.  I never thought palm trees could be a weed.  They were everywhere on the west side of the parking lot.  They are really strong and a little hard to pull out.  We took out a lot. 

The kids did a great job.  They worked really hard and had a lot of fun.  If anyone else is interested in doing something for the Prophet for his birthday, you just need to email your letter, photo, and permission to print both to friend@ldschurch.org.  And it has to be in before Feb 27th, 2009.  The original article says mid December, but the time has been extended.  Also, it is for children 3 and older.  For more information check the back of Nov 08 conference issue.  It gives more details.  It says look for someone in need and serve them.  I guess we thought the church looked like it was in need of help with the weeds.