Ramblings on being a SAHM

   Lately the topic of being a Mom has come up over and over.  I am so glad that I am a stay at home mom (SAHM), and that I had a SAHM raise me, and a father who worked very hard so that my mom could stay at home.  Of course when I was young, I didn't appreciate it.  I thought it would have been much more fun to go to afterschool care and play with a lot of kids for hours after school, or be a latch key kid and eat anything I wanted and watch TV and not do home work.  But I was young and stupid so of course that is what I thought.  Good thing kids don't rule the world.  I hated the homemade lunches and mom always telling me to do my homework afterschool.  Or annoyingly knowing where I was all the time.  I didn't like hand-me-downs, or the fact that we had chores, or used cars.  I thought my family was so weird.  With the garden and food storage, and trying to save money and not going into debt. etc.  Obviously they weren't modern.  

Then I grew up.  And now I want to be exactly like them.  Kids usually don't know what is best, and so now I know from personal experience that it doesn't matter if they like or don't like these things.  Parents just have to follow the prophet and do it, and it is for the best.  I am so glad my parents were the way they were, even if it did embarrase me as a teenager.  I, frankly, don't care if my kids are embarrased by these things.  

Anyway, one of the things I am most thankful to my parents for is having my mom stay home.  I think that is part of the reason we all (the children) live pretty good lives.  We are all happily married in the temple, and active.  All the husbands of my sisters have pretty good jobs to support a family, or are on the right track to do so, and my brother is doing well in his carrer.  All the wives in the family stay home with their kids.  So I think we are all doing well, and my parents are very successful in what really counts the most.

I am so thankful that I married a man who, although his mother was not at SAHM, he has such a desire to do what the prophet says, that it was no question that I would be a SAHM.  He has always worked hard so that I could do so.  I am comming to realize more and more, that besides your husband and you, (and maybe grandma and grandpa) there is nobody who loves your kids and will fight for your kids as much as you do.  And now days, every child need someone to represent their best interest and fight for them in their life.  Whether it be medical problems, or educational issues, or other things.  Not just fight for them, but search for the resources that you, who has their best interest at heart, thinks that they can use and will help them.  Especially in todays world.  There is so much out there that can hurt kids, and there is so much good as well.  Someone who is smart (AKA not a kid), needs to beable to take the time, and be motivated, and be there, to navigate the waters for their child.  

I am glad I am a SAHM, and I am far from perfect.  I have several friends, and sisters that I think they are way better moms than I am.  But I try to improve all the time.  And I love my children and I am there.  Being there, trying hard to keep the  commandments and do a better job each day as a Mom is what really matters.  Like Dr. Laura (a big supporter of SAHM) says, if you aren't there, you really aren't doing the job.  You can't be a teacher, a doctor or a lawyer,  and only be there 1 day a week.   You aren't really being a mom if you are not there.  Someone else is raising your kids.  I know there are exceptions, like divorce or death, or an ill husband, or a husband out of work, etc.  that make mothers have to work.  I think that in these situations, the Lord can help them compensate for the fact that they aren't there all the time, and will help them.  For a while there, a few years back,  I really thought I would be a widow, and have to work, but even then, I had a plan to live very frugally until my youngest was in Kindergarten (off of life insurance), and then get a job where I would always be home when they were home. 

The great thing about the commandments is that they make it much easier to be a SAHM.  Waiting until marriage to have sex, marrying the right person.  If you are a woman, making sure they know that you intend to stay home once you have kids, and making sure they can afford to support the family without you working.    

I am not a very good writer, or this is disjointed.  I am so glad that I stay home, because I feel like I can help my children with their trials and challenges much better, as well as find their strengths and talents.  Christyne has asthma, and no one, except my husband, is going to keep an eye on her as much as I do.  Andreya has some learning problems.  Who is going to make sure that she gets the proper help at school.  I know her well, and I realized there was a problem there with her reading.  I asked for some testing at school.  They were willing to do it, but they said that they didn't think she really had a problem, etc.  I knew she did.  So sure enough they tested her and she did.  It turns out that she is very intellegent, and got a high enough IQ score, that she qualified, because the difference between her ability and the IQ is great enough.  If I wasn't there always keeping an eye on her, with her, helping her with homework, etc.  I wouldn't have noticed these problems.  Also, I like being there anytime of day that my kids need me.  If my child is sick at 10am, and they call me, I want to be there in 15 minutes.  

These past few months, we have been working on the Science Fair.  You can read about it in my blog.  At the science fair, I noticed that one elementary school in a kind of bad area had only 4 children with entries.  I asked the teacher sitting next to be about it, and she said that the kids in that school just don't have the parental support that kids in other schools do.  So I am now thinking that those trophies my kids got, are also my SAHM trophies.  I feel proud of my kids, but also proud of myself for being able to take the time to work with them and help them and show them what to do.  

Sometimes it is just not fun being a SAHM.  I sometimes feel like an unpaid frumpy unappreciated maid.  But what job or carrer doesn't have bad days or difficult things about it.  Before I had kids, I worked at a charter school.  I liked the principal, and the kids I taught, and the parent volunteers, but I really could not stand most of the teachers.  They were so negative and complained constantly.  I got to the point where I would just come to work, have no friends, teach, and leave right away, and it was much better.  I am so glad to spend the whole day with people (my children) I actually like.  No more office politics.  

Ayden will start kindergarten in September, and people ask me if I will go back to work.  I tell them that I probably will not.  I want to spend some time getting my home organized, working on picture albums, painting all the rooms, and taking a class at COD, or maybe even getting a master's degree.  I want to be better at making healthy meals, and actually have time in the middle of the day to exercize.  Or take a nap.  I may eventually do a little part time work, like substitute teach occactionally, or something.  I want to be better prepared for everything, including if I have to support the family.  But I want to be there anytime of day if my kids need me.  I am also not organized enough to work and manage a family.  My husband also likes it if I can bring him something he forgot.  I like helping in my kids school.  I feel that helping, gets me in with the teachers who are more willing to work with me when I have a problem and need help with my children.  Also, I am now friends with the school office people.  They are the people in power, and can give me advice, and help me figure out the best way to get things done when I need something.  

I am so glad I did it, and I wouldn't change a thing.