The other day I was watching an interview of some women who were actresses on a certain TV show. They started discussing motherhood. They are all working moms. One of them jokingly said that her child spent the first 18 months of her life in a trailer at the studio. When I heard that, I was sad and disgusted. They talked about how they would shoot a scene, then run back to the trailer, and breast feed for 20 minutes then run back to the set. Wow, I don't think these women get it at all. It seems like they think that they can be gone all day long, and work long hours, but they are good moms if they run back to the trailer and breast feed for 20 minutes every so often, or they pump their breast milk so the nanny can give it to the baby later. It is not the breast milk that baby's really need (it is good and nice), but what they really need is mommy there all day long, and the cuddling and the closeness while they breastfeed or bottle feed. Yes breast milk is healthy for your baby, but more important for a baby is the cuddling and kisses and love. Knowing them so well and being there everytime they need you. I don't know, but I think this is actually helps a baby's physical health more than a pop-over for some feeding. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in breast feeding, but I feel that many working mom's get duped into thinking that they are good mom's if they pump, or work all the time, but only show up to breast feed. Today we have great formulas, and even in Moses' time it was a job hired out if someone could not do it. Yet a woman can still be a great mother and have healthy children even if breastfeeding isn't an option. Baby's need to be with mommy most of the day (hey, mom needs a little time off ).
They also all were working before they had kids, then got pregnant while they were working on the show. So, in my opinion, they should have waited to have kids, or worked until the child was born and then quit. It just seems incredibly selfish. I would hate to have my child spend the first 18 months of life in a little trailer at the set, with a nanny all day and night.
These women also talked about how their priorities had changed. I guess their priorities changed from taking a nap or getting a snack during their break to breast-feeding during their break. I don't really see much change in priorities. Their career and their own selfishness still take center stage. I mean what is it that is sooooo important that they have to work and treat their children like this. Are their families going to starve, no. Are they curing cancer or saving the world, no. Are they saving lives, no. What is this great world changing work they do - they work on a sci-fi tv show. I would hate to tell my children that the reason they lived in a trailer at the studio for the first 18+ months of life is because I wanted to be in a sci-fi- tv show. As far a important jobs go, that is near the bottom. When I was teaching I was doing a more important job then they do now, and it was no where near important enough to not stay home for (is there a job that imporant, no). Being a mom is the most important job a woman can do. All other career aspirations and work should be sacrificed or postponed. When a woman chooses to be a mom, it is a big life changing choice. Do it right. I think that many of these actresses are not so much into "acting" they are into themselves and their career. Even if you stay home with your kids, you can help the school put on a play, or volunteer in the local community theater, etc. You can still do what you like a little of the time, and be a mom. Their love is not acting, it is being famous and making lots of money. There are lots of ways to have personal goals and aspirations, and still be a Stay at home mom. You just have to make sure they don't get in the way of the the needs of the family and the children. Also, when the kids are grown, go and act again, they won't get the same jobs again, but that is the price to pay for motherhood. Other carrers it is much easier to get into a little later in life.
I remember when I was pregnant with my oldest. I was teaching at Indio Charter School. I worked until I was 8 months pregnant, and then I quit. I quit even though things were going well. I quit because I wanted to have a baby for years, and I wasn't going to not take good care of my baby. I planed ahead also so I would be able to stay home. There was never a question about not quitting. Not once did I think about nannys or day care or "balancing" work and family. Even when a women stays home, it is so hard to be a mom, and feel like you are really doing it right. The only way a woman with little babies or children can work and be a mom, is if she absolutely has to, and then I think Heavenly Father helps her out (like if her husband died or couldn't work etc). Otherwise, I think it just really messes up the kids.
I am thankful for a husband who feels the same way as me, and parents who were good examples of this for me. And the gospel that teaches this, as well as other people in society to believe and do the same thing. Being a mom is the most important job in the world.
Sorry this is all disjointed, I was kind of tired when I wrote it.
2 comments:
It amazes me what some people consider good parenting!
I like you new look, by the way.
Right on, Lisa. You sound like Dr. Laura. What a shame that moms like these put children down low on their priority lists. (They probably had moms that did the same to them.) It works both ways--when their kids are grown they will probably return in kind by putting their aging parents low on their lists. What goes around comes around. Gotta love those dysfunctional families.
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